Grab and Keel

I don’t think I’ve ever spent a holiday season like this where I have been so betwixt and between. I can barely see in my mind the marker of this week, much less absorb it. I have little sense of accomplishment and am overwhelmed with the demands the new year will bring. The little rituals that the season asks were not done. The ground is not ready. The finances are not there.

I’m falling.

I’m hoping the light in the hole in which I land will be bright enough to gather all those straws I have been grasping. Then, I can weave a Nordic star to light my way out. Appropriate, since I will soon be living in the land of straw.

And wind and dust.

My brain wants to plan and manage, but the truth is my future is unknowable right now. I don’t know if I have the energy for what is coming. I’m whining; and, that is ridiculous because my favorite places have always been in the waste zones.

Waste zones are a land of opportunity. They are the underrated property, the space where imagination takes root and can grow a sparkling new entity. They are a land of mental uncertainty too.

I just have to trust that this hole into which I am falling is a waste zone of opportunity.

As for all of you, I hope you have avoided the hole, or have landed well and are happily on your way to your new year. We have passed the shortest day and a new life is budding. If there is that, there is more.